Sunday, April 15, 2012

@you cant take that back now

What's you Email ID?
I go by ''.It's stupid,always pronounced wrong by people.I always have to correct them.
"Its ummm-azish,as in amazing-ish".

But what the hell was I thinking when I made it 5 years ago.More so,what the hell was I thinking when I created my fb account,my blog with it.
Here I am stuck with,what people like to call 'oomaazish'.Ive even got 'ummaa-jish'.
Even 'umma-ji' once. LOL
But what I started with 10 years ago on yahoo was class apart! ''
I must have wasted considerable time of my life typing that long idiotic email id.Also,'Cheers' has a completely different meaning now.'Fun' too.
Age makes you do stuff that seems inappropriate at another age.Always.

I was kinda obsessed with the 'Ish' in my name.I've had,Magish,Amazish,Ishkimo,Indishgal..It seems so juvenile now and self obsessive.(Oh,I even had Crazyish once);)

Even you must have had your share of email Ids that u cant take back.
Picture this: Bad email id's are like an annoying spouse.You are stuck with it.You have to take it to all the social gatherings.Introduce it to people.The thought of leaving it comes to your mind often,but then you think about the entire procedure of choosing a new one..going to the social meetings with it and explaining to people about what happend to the old one..and blah blah..and u drop the idea.(which is exactly the reason why I am still -Ummazish!)

All these years,I never actually tried to make an ID with my real name.So,when I was forwarding my CV to this company,'Ummazish' was covering up the entire resume with 'Iam stupid.Please dont hire me'..So I thought I'd make something that looks like,Isha Sharma.
Apparently there are many Isha Sharma in the Universe.
So I added 22(my birthdate)to it.Still... No.
99.9%of Isha Sharmas are born on 22nd.
Finally,I got something as lousy as 'isha.sharma022'. I am Bond.Of another kind.

So what did I learn with all of this.I should never judge a person by his email id.(I can have a good laugh at the funny one-but that's that). There are simply too many constraints and too many similar named people.
But that not a excuse to a lameass Id.The annoying spouse analogy fits,and how!

Be back with more crazy realizations
Ummazish ;)

Friday, April 6, 2012

Datestorm 2!!

The recent turn of events in my life have been tragic,bewildering,shocking and not to mention funny.
I promised myself that I won't be posting any sad entries and torture you.
I'm keeping it.
So,I had a few beers last night with a friend.Now, beer is overrated(no offence to the beer lovers)I'm not quite there yet.
So there I am sitting..waiting for that alcoholic kick! But none.Nada!
What is it with beers and peeing..seriously!!(there's gotta be an anti-dote!)
Anyways,I think I might hurt quite a few sentiments there if I go on with the 'anti-beer-hooplah'..So moving on..

If you have been reading my blog,then u must have come across 'Datestorm'
When I read that now,it makes me realize that after 3.5 years of a sucky relationship and 'OMG Im in louvee!' to 'Gosh,he was such a douche'. I'm back to where I started.

Hello world!
-What do u call a guy who flirts with you as he treats your teeth?- A Frustrated Dentist.
-What do u call a guy who is so obsessed with you,it makes you wanna cry- A Super-frustated Dentist.
-What does he call you when u fail to reciprocate his obsessive feelings?- A Moron,A Loser and what was the last one...umm..Dumbass!!
What kinda people still have those words in their dictionary? You are so 1980!!

So I meet a guy in my gym who had been 'Eying' me from every possible way- Direct vision,through mirrors-reflection,refraction,corner of his eye,pinhole camera what not!
This guy just invented a perfect 'Awww to Yikes!' line:
''Excuse me, I want your help with academics-I wanna pursue Masters in Physical Education''
Wham! Who does a Masters in physical education?Is there any Masters in physical education?
Have u heard of someone.. ''Hi,I am Joe Nash,Masters,Quadriceps.''
or ''Hi I am John Truce,Masters,Gluteus maximus.''
No place for clingy macho guys!

No place for clingy,not so macho guys either!(If you know what I mean)

-What does wine turn you into?- A 'Winey'. Pronounced as 'Whiny' and occasionally has the same meaning too!
-What's the difference between drinking wine with your girlfriends and with a guy you are out with, for the first time?
Girl friends :'Woohoo! A break from all the loggerheads in our lives'
Guy :'There is no tomorrow!'

You know what would be a great invention? A device that shuts down your body after too much alcohol after beeping 'Okay!No more alcohol for me now!I'm done.Shutting down now.Might as well get the rest parceled'!

Imagine,No more bar fights!No more drunk driving accidents! No more unwanted babies!
(Of course, The anti-dote to after beer-peeing is on the top of my list of inventions)

Oh and how could I forget this one.
-What do u call a guy who takes a gal out to post dinner coffee and buys her a 'smallest size' coffee(I didn't even know they served in that size!)- A little low on cash guy.
-What do u call a guy who takes a gal out for a 'Pao-bhaji dinner' at a family restaurant? - definite cashless guy who will never get to go out with that girl again.
(Disclaimer: Iam not against the gal paying.But Chivalry,I assume,sadly, comes at a price(pun intended). Also,the art of Chivalry should be practiced only when it makes sense.)

I say.Enough with the Pao Bhajis,Smallest size coffees,Obsessed 'lovers',Winey guys and Seekers of physical education.

Here's hoping there's no 'Datestorm 3'
Cheers!! Hic!

Friday, December 31, 2010

The year,as I saw it.

Its strange how something exciting,out of the normal thing happens on a boring day,that changes the way we remember that day in future forever.No,No..this aint an intro to something utterly nice that happened to me today that I wanna share with everyone.Relax.Its not facebook.and Im still me.
Anyway,compare it with a lifetime and if you really had to pick up a year that kind of molded your life to come,would you pick up 2010.? I would.

To begin with..I really struggled with living alone.Agreed, I'm not much of a people's person,but living all alone can be really tricky sometimes.The boredom kills!plays with your mind.Turns you into a maniac!
Lesson're not Joan of arc.You cant live alone and be sane at the same time.
This was the year when after years of 'Trying to lose weight' and 'No thanx,Im on a diet' I finally started to lose weight.I was a happy girl with all the gyming and aerobics going for me.Little did I know..
I fall sick.Like really sick.I get hospitalised for the first time and become painfully thin(by my own standards,of course)!Took away all the credit from my working out.Cruel,isn't it?
Lesson can get very sick sometimes and the 'sick -sympathies' are a pain after a while.Keep workin out,coz that yearning for food is in your genes,blood,whatever.

I party-ed a lot.And i struggled to keep up with friendships this year.Almost all my friends' converstaions started with,'where the hell are you'.
The fact was.I was nowhere.I was coping up with my self-made norms and useless distinctions.Trying to replace my friends with my laptop and iPod.
Lesson learnt..a lot of guys think that every drunk(read tipsy) girl is their girlfriend.And always stay in touch with friends.

I discovered my love for cooking.
I blogged very less.
I lost a bit of my sense of humor.
I became a dentist.
I struggled with relationships.

I discovered how sometimes,I lock horns with everyone and want to be alone and miserable by choice.
Lesson learnt.Dont. and lower your expectations.It only makes you better.Never drink alone.

There have been times when Ive risen like a phoenix and fallen like a dead bird.There have been times when my brains just burst like a hot volcano with a piece of my brain falling on everyone I cared about.
Lesson never are that close to anyone in life that they can bear the brunt of your moods.not family,not love,not friends.And you are on your own.So u better not be evil.

You are what you think you are.and this year I've been a loser,a depressed case,a loner and a dentist.
Somehow I wanted to change that.All of these things.I did.Now I am,still a dentist,pursuing to be something else.But I'm not a loser,loner or anything else.Im a believer.
And i believe that if it weren't for the things that happened to me this year,I would have been still the same person that I was getting tired of.

All said and done.Goodbye 2010.I'll never forget you.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

The blunders of The New Age.

Hello blog..Im back(after a year almost!)Thats a lot of time to think about something to write but sorry blog, my brain has set a permanent thinkblock on the serious side of it.
And I am with another frivolous post!
How many times have you made blunders with your cellphone..
I mean not the types when u just throw it at the wall in a mad rage(only to run towards it later to check whether your wrath exploded the battery or not)..
or make it drink alcohol with you..or tea for that matter!
I mean serious blunders..with the keypad..!
Okay..a month ago..I was at an expensive place.Really expensive by my standards(yeah..yours too!)..I was totally psyched by this guy telling me and my friends that he would treat us for the dinner.
What do I do?I type a really quick message about it to my friend with my thumb tap-dancing on the keypad..SEND!
The message had to cover a real long distance actually but it didnt,it instead decided to reach the inbox of the guy sitting next to me,paying for our dinner.
Now, it wasn't that bad until he read the message to me and asked me,'A madman is throwing you a treat?'
If it would have saved me from the consequences,I was ready to act like a retard!Didnt.
Anyway..there's a lot more to talk about than mobile phones.Ive been away for so long.
There's a funny similarity between age and love.U dont know how far you've gone with it only until u stop for a second and look around u.What u see is subjective.
I see young people.
Just a few years ago I was like this 18-19 yr old girl..happy,funny,lousy,stupid with no fear of vaulting my limits of sanity..and still be 'sweet' to everyone.
And now,a few years later..Im supposed to be this matured,mannered,genteel young woman who understands the nuances of life..with no room for foolishness and jabber..(needless to say,Im silent most of the times).
Funny thing is,it all settles in,in a while.Why? I dont know.
I guess the comparison I made with love is true.You just dont know why!
There are so many things to care about now.When I was 18..I just had to worry about one thing while dressing up- I am looking fat in this too!
And now..well,besides the above mentioned,I worry whether I look too mature,whether this is too flashy,too teenagerish..why!!
Who wants to grow up!!I was happy being stupid and silly the one who made blunders like I mentioned above almost everyday and not feel a thing about them.
Age hits like a landslide sometimes..sliding away the land beneath the ageing feet!!
Well,that's a lot said and shared for a while.
Be back with more.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Have you ever..

-Missed a song?Just remembered it like a distant memory and tried to search it out.

-Ever felt befriended by a its talking to you..guiding you out of your misery..your sadness..or just brightening up your mood..making pleasant things seem even better..sometimes bringing up a smile on your expression less face..

-Ever loved a song so much to listen to it 15 times at a stretch..without getting bored of it..

-Speaking of which,have you ever irritated your friends around you with the way the sheer magic of a single song's repetition works on you..

-Listened to a great new song..caught up a single hummable line from it..and hummed it 50 times a day?

-Experienced the soothing power of your favorite song during a 5 minute break from hours of continous studying?

-Sung along your favorite rock song till the maximum allowance limit of your vocal cords?

-Talked really loud to people around you with earphones in your ears?

-Got weird looks from people around you when you talked that loud?!

-Ever known what its like to listen to music on the last bench in a most boring lecture under constant fear of being caught?

-Had a favorite 'Dance Song'..upon listening to which,you and your friends burst into alien dance moves?

-Stumbled upon a great song on your iPod and pressed 'Increase volume' 4 times extra even after its on maximum level?

-Sang a 'Situational Song' around your friend and his/her latest crush and had your share of choicest words later?

-Been caught dancing in front of the mirror?

-Broken your leg,got adviced bedrest,unable to sleep of the pain..became aware how a single album you listened to that time..will always make you remember those days..

-Played your music loud enough to not let your mind wander around something bothersome?

-Hummed a song to your self when you were nervous?

-Listened to a song and instantly wanted to dedicate it to someone?

-Experienced the magic of a single magical song working on a near broken heart?

-Listened to an intense love song and thought of someone?

In other words do you share with me..any part of my musical story?

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Covered in Darkness

I had a very dreamy sleep last night.
Very shocking yet very subtle..
Very dark yet enlightening..
Very funny yet very creepy.
In the dream,I see myself as myself and my sister with
me.We were in this really dark movie theatre.The screen
was dark and I wasnt able to see anything.After about 10
mins..everyone gasped in astonishment..and said
something like.."They should'nt show something like
that.." (apparently referring to an adult scene).
I became very confused and asked my sister.."What did
they show..I couldnt see anyting"..
On the way back home..I couldnt see anything on the was dark I thought..
Eventually I realized in the dream that I was turning
'nightblind'.I remember how I was thinkin in the dream
about vitamin A tablets(the deficiency of which causes
And then somebody asked me about my 'condition'..I
clearly remember myself tellin him..'I have Nightopia'
(on lines of myopia)..
Suddenly I woke up and was relieved to come back to
I opened up the day's newspaper..
2nd dec 2009. 25th anniversary of UCIL Bhopal gas-leak
It had pictures of people who died and of those who lost
their eyesights because of the gas leak.
A simple dream of not being able to see in the night
freaked me out..I can only imagine how it is like for
people who lose their eyesights for day,night..for
everytime..for all their life.
It must just not be about not being able to see the
sunset or rise..or the sky or the water..It must be
about seeing a black cubicle around with the walls
ever closing onto oneself.
The first thing I was worried about in the dream when I
realized that I cudnt see anymore..was..I lacked a
capability that every 'normal' person around me had.It
was fear,a worry..of falling back behind
running loose blindfolded tryin to catch something or
someone when all the others lookin at you.. laughin at
you..know that you are headed in the wrong direction.
A blind person's world must be way smaller than ours.It
must be way tougher..meaner..creepier than ours.The
phrase 'a ray of hope' must have different meaning to
Ive had 'Eye issues' myself..when I was 10,I used to
blink my eyes twice every second..It wasnt a very sweet
time..I once won a singing competition at that
time..later I found seniors imitating me..or my eyelids
for that matter in the classroom..It sent big jolts to
my self-esteem..
Fact is I wasnt bothered about the blinking..I was
bothered about the mocking..needless to say..I rushed to
a doc who took care of my eye muscles.

Ive never known a visually impaired person
personally..but somehow I think that the loss of vision
would be a lesser deal than losing the guiding light in
this ever darkening ruthless world..
I wouldnt have thought all this if it werent for the
dream.Before that I never had a thought for visually
impaired people.All I had was sympathy.
And I will carry the thought forward..It wont be a bad
idea if now I pledge to donate my eyes after I die..
So what if they start blinkin twice per second
again..or suffer from 'Nightropia' in dreams..They might
break the walls of someone's dark cubicle..who knows..

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Version 23i.

Two and a half months its been..Im at home..with nothing on my hands..There's just one blog entry that Ive made during these holidays..I made more during my exams..
So you can understand how dead my brain is these days.
I was at my sister's place for quite sometime ..where I did a lot of new stuff(besides trying out new drinks).. a lot of different stuff..
Well lets start with the airport..
Banglore airport.
I had just collected my luggage and was leaving.Suddenly a Firang appears before me and with all the politeness that she could gather,She asks me..''Excuse me..what flight did u come from?''
And ..I if I wanted to stamp Bangalore with my stupidity..I replied back with all the decency and as if I was the busiest woman in the world..'' Air India .''
2 seconds later..I said to myself..what the hell were you thinkin..!why would she want to know what flight you took..jerk!
4seconds later..I called up my sis and shared my latest story of stupidity with her.I had arrived.Hello Bangalore.

The aerobics classes that I'd joined there were quite ''Dancy' for since it was my first class I cud hardly do all the steps..(now dont judge one can !!)..So I just sat aside for a little breather..
Track changes..
Next Track:Where's the party tonite!!
Im taken into a flashback of hostel..where me with my two roommates danced the room out on this song..!!Whoa! I jumped in like you see all the people in Glucon-D ads..!I didnt know what I was doin..but the instructor had a good laugh and later tells my sis..''She's just here for fun..just enjoyin the muusiccc!!''
Well..I did.
The story of the swimming pool is a little different coz of my unique but funny swim suit...(immediately curbing your stupid ideas)..I called my suit.."The Tellytubby Suit"..for those who dont know..good that u dont.
The first day I kicked so hard in the water with my right foot that I broke my left foot's toe nail..hehe..!!But that didnt stop me from being a total madness in water..
A few days usual I was goofing around in the pool..and like the pool wanted me to stamp it too with my stupidity..I mistook a well grown (big bellied )man for my bro.Not a big deal,unless u know that I used to do a lot of literal 'Leg-Pulling' in the pool with bhai!!Picture that now.
Ah..I love to try to swim!! ;)
The thing that I found most fruitful was the gym..It has made me a less lazy person.yes.:)
Well..I am a better version of myself now..proudly!
And the thing with becoming a better version of yourself is that it gives birth to a bunch of better upgraded newer versions of you in your mind,which obviously make you feel outdated.
So here I am ..So new..and so wanting to outdate the newer me.