Sunday, April 15, 2012

@you cant take that back now

What's you Email ID?
I go by ''.It's stupid,always pronounced wrong by people.I always have to correct them.
"Its ummm-azish,as in amazing-ish".

But what the hell was I thinking when I made it 5 years ago.More so,what the hell was I thinking when I created my fb account,my blog with it.
Here I am stuck with,what people like to call 'oomaazish'.Ive even got 'ummaa-jish'.
Even 'umma-ji' once. LOL
But what I started with 10 years ago on yahoo was class apart! ''
I must have wasted considerable time of my life typing that long idiotic email id.Also,'Cheers' has a completely different meaning now.'Fun' too.
Age makes you do stuff that seems inappropriate at another age.Always.

I was kinda obsessed with the 'Ish' in my name.I've had,Magish,Amazish,Ishkimo,Indishgal..It seems so juvenile now and self obsessive.(Oh,I even had Crazyish once);)

Even you must have had your share of email Ids that u cant take back.
Picture this: Bad email id's are like an annoying spouse.You are stuck with it.You have to take it to all the social gatherings.Introduce it to people.The thought of leaving it comes to your mind often,but then you think about the entire procedure of choosing a new one..going to the social meetings with it and explaining to people about what happend to the old one..and blah blah..and u drop the idea.(which is exactly the reason why I am still -Ummazish!)

All these years,I never actually tried to make an ID with my real name.So,when I was forwarding my CV to this company,'Ummazish' was covering up the entire resume with 'Iam stupid.Please dont hire me'..So I thought I'd make something that looks like,Isha Sharma.
Apparently there are many Isha Sharma in the Universe.
So I added 22(my birthdate)to it.Still... No.
99.9%of Isha Sharmas are born on 22nd.
Finally,I got something as lousy as 'isha.sharma022'. I am Bond.Of another kind.

So what did I learn with all of this.I should never judge a person by his email id.(I can have a good laugh at the funny one-but that's that). There are simply too many constraints and too many similar named people.
But that not a excuse to a lameass Id.The annoying spouse analogy fits,and how!

Be back with more crazy realizations
Ummazish ;)

Friday, April 6, 2012

Datestorm 2!!

The recent turn of events in my life have been tragic,bewildering,shocking and not to mention funny.
I promised myself that I won't be posting any sad entries and torture you.
I'm keeping it.
So,I had a few beers last night with a friend.Now, beer is overrated(no offence to the beer lovers)I'm not quite there yet.
So there I am sitting..waiting for that alcoholic kick! But none.Nada!
What is it with beers and peeing..seriously!!(there's gotta be an anti-dote!)
Anyways,I think I might hurt quite a few sentiments there if I go on with the 'anti-beer-hooplah'..So moving on..

If you have been reading my blog,then u must have come across 'Datestorm'
When I read that now,it makes me realize that after 3.5 years of a sucky relationship and 'OMG Im in louvee!' to 'Gosh,he was such a douche'. I'm back to where I started.

Hello world!
-What do u call a guy who flirts with you as he treats your teeth?- A Frustrated Dentist.
-What do u call a guy who is so obsessed with you,it makes you wanna cry- A Super-frustated Dentist.
-What does he call you when u fail to reciprocate his obsessive feelings?- A Moron,A Loser and what was the last one...umm..Dumbass!!
What kinda people still have those words in their dictionary? You are so 1980!!

So I meet a guy in my gym who had been 'Eying' me from every possible way- Direct vision,through mirrors-reflection,refraction,corner of his eye,pinhole camera what not!
This guy just invented a perfect 'Awww to Yikes!' line:
''Excuse me, I want your help with academics-I wanna pursue Masters in Physical Education''
Wham! Who does a Masters in physical education?Is there any Masters in physical education?
Have u heard of someone.. ''Hi,I am Joe Nash,Masters,Quadriceps.''
or ''Hi I am John Truce,Masters,Gluteus maximus.''
No place for clingy macho guys!

No place for clingy,not so macho guys either!(If you know what I mean)

-What does wine turn you into?- A 'Winey'. Pronounced as 'Whiny' and occasionally has the same meaning too!
-What's the difference between drinking wine with your girlfriends and with a guy you are out with, for the first time?
Girl friends :'Woohoo! A break from all the loggerheads in our lives'
Guy :'There is no tomorrow!'

You know what would be a great invention? A device that shuts down your body after too much alcohol after beeping 'Okay!No more alcohol for me now!I'm done.Shutting down now.Might as well get the rest parceled'!

Imagine,No more bar fights!No more drunk driving accidents! No more unwanted babies!
(Of course, The anti-dote to after beer-peeing is on the top of my list of inventions)

Oh and how could I forget this one.
-What do u call a guy who takes a gal out to post dinner coffee and buys her a 'smallest size' coffee(I didn't even know they served in that size!)- A little low on cash guy.
-What do u call a guy who takes a gal out for a 'Pao-bhaji dinner' at a family restaurant? - definite cashless guy who will never get to go out with that girl again.
(Disclaimer: Iam not against the gal paying.But Chivalry,I assume,sadly, comes at a price(pun intended). Also,the art of Chivalry should be practiced only when it makes sense.)

I say.Enough with the Pao Bhajis,Smallest size coffees,Obsessed 'lovers',Winey guys and Seekers of physical education.

Here's hoping there's no 'Datestorm 3'
Cheers!! Hic!