Friday, November 14, 2008

The love of friendship and beyond.

I’ve had a lot of friends since childhood.And I’m not friends with all of them now.Some have got lost in time..some have disappeared with no excuses..and some..have been kicked out of my life.As I’ve grown older..The meaning of friendship has changed to me.When I was a kid..I needed a friend only to laugh along and talk to in school..As a grew older I needed frnds to go out with and share my stupid secrets with.And now..Being a 22 yr old..I need friends go be with me through all the ups and downs in my life.
Im a sensitive hopeless case at times.I have sky high expectations..and I get hurt easily..I hate explaining myself to just anyone and I hate not being understood by people who are close to me.
Things in my life relating to frndship are somehow blown outta proportion every now and then..and the shuffle mode between me and my friends is always almost on.Over the time..and now..I’ve failed to understand..that why do I fail at keeping friendships intact..Am I a sucker for attention?Or am I a case of retarded thinking?Or simply..someone who thinks a lot..Who expects a lot.
I’ve always thought that having a bunch of frnds around always..really close ones is always good than having a best friend.I haven’t really believed in the concept of a ‘best friend’ all my life..maybe it was an excuse of not being able to have one..or maybe I was to weak to admit that one of my all closest frnds was my favourite and best of the lot.

I'm in a transition state now..Where I am thinking that having a best friend than having a group of close friends might be a better idea.
It alteast saves the time u waste on being insecure and disgusted.And plus u do know whom to trust the most and whom to rely upon without thinking twice.It amuses me sometimes how drastically things change over a small period of time..of how we start to hate someone..and love someone in such a short span..
I wonder sometimes..what keeps friendship goin?Being vocal with the feelings?Being too emotive?Or being soft..Every now and then?I always thought friendship never needed testimonies…But then,people change over time..and I am people..What I have learnt is..Sometimes..just being also not enough..
Im a lazy person..when I see something slipping away from my hands..I don’t bother to go catch it..I let fate play the game..Not that I wanna be miserable..I just hate to demand once I see its not required..and fate has been cruel and sarcastic..Well..most of the times..I have been lazy.
And the time when I have been anything but lazy..I’ve carried a notion that doing something for someone is obviously more important than mere talking.But my gradual realization has been that we all remember more of what people say or have said..Than what they do..or have done..How ironic is that..
I guess sometimes being a poorer version of u saves u from hurting a higher version of you…
Its like coming to terms with life..
Trying not to expect when u wanna expect the most.
Playin along when you are retired hurt.

Well someday…I’m gonna call up all of my old friends..and get in touch..No matter what..but that day is not today..Today is a different day.And its not my day.


SenSeleSS Intelligence said...

i guess....!
2, 3, 6, 8, 9.

but anyways....
when they said a true friend stays.. they weren't shootin crap.

ppl r actually not mature enough to realize wat "friend in need is a friend indeed" is all about.. and
they forget wat matters more... talks or deeds or feelings or needs.

life's give and take.. u know.. i've learned it the hard way. but yeah.. wat THEY said is totally on the spot...

a TRUE friend stays...

i'll tell u wat.. a group doesnt matter as much as a comforting presence does... life's like that.. u'll eventually get wat u want.. but the 'bitch' never fails to teach...

ravi said...

hmm.. i must say iam impressed i did not expect u to be so skilled with words or rather sentences, but iam rather disappointed with the subjects tht u choose, ur thoughts abt ur own life?? come on!!
why write abt things tht people can never understand whoever they are ur sister, brother, best friends nobody can understand ur personal feeling abt ur own life.and since they won't understand shit the only thing they can do is further confuse u,and come to stupid conclusions.
i would really like it if u would write abt "a man" whom i saw on the road few years ago, a normal guy but he was crying. i call him "the man who cried" and i often wonder why??
p.s. one of the remarks in one of ur posts was really topnotch.

Vipin Chaturvedi said...

hi ya'
just went through ur blog.. want to give one suggetion if u dunn mind..
try to be laconic in your writing... coz it seems a book u were writing.. people loath reading this big.. otherwise its all good

Kirti said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kirti said...

I really have no gyan to give, but talking from experience, just like relationships, serious friendships are also about the chance of finding the right kinda person, who equals you in maturity, mindset and who you can gel with without tryin at all. So, its as much a matter of luck as it is about adjusting and respecting each other. You have to let go of ego in some cases, you have to regard some ppl, no matter what, coz you are not supposed to judge em, you are supossed to correct em. And this has to be mutual too. U know what I am talking about.

Kirti said...

No blogs after Nov????!!

ikshit said...

being a sucker 4 attention is no big deal. everyone wants attention at some pint of life. just that some r too serious that they can go to extremes to do that..

do call ur frens n then share the experience.
bye tk cre

ANAND said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
rakshit said...

gal i dont know u, landed on your blog browsing by, i must say you may not be a good actor but are really blessed with the creativity of an authour, the way you play with words is impresive, U should try something with it as a pro.

Amazish said...

hey rakshit..thats like a really big thing to say to someone...thanks!!